Conservatarian Chronicles

The gecko control group has also called for reptilia purchase restrictions after a recent snake slinging. Well, it’s happened again, the scourge of gecko violence has reared its ugly head. A few weeks ago a man assaulted a restaurant manager with a ‘military style’ [meaning it was  green ] Iguana. Now there is word that a snake slinging took place in the commission of a crime. USA Today  reported back in April that a man swung an Iguana above his head and hurled it at a restaurant manager. Unfortunately, it broke the reptile’s leg rightfully adding the charge of animal cruelty to the perpetrator’s rap sheet. In the latest assault reptile attack reported by the  Associated-Press : Police say a woman stole a vehicle after throwing a nonpoisonous snake at the driver, then crashed through barricades set up for a pole vaulting exhibition. Mammals’ demand has called for a ban on Military style Assault Reptiles in every town. Presidential candidate Kamala Harris ...

A parody of how those of the Socialist-Left are incapable of debating their morally bankrupt ideology. Humor always needs a ring of truth, in the case of this hilarious parody, it’s a resounding bong for anyone who have dealt with those of Socialist-Left in any capacity. While it is amusing, there is also a disturbing element in that one could easily imagine this sort of indoctrination taking place at all levels of academia. The instructor’s assertion that people who disagree with socialism and that they should shut down the conversation the exploitation of the all too common tactic of discrediting them by hurling the racism or sexism charge. Or accusing their opponent of being funded by dodgy dark money that doesn’t really mean anything but casts their opponent in a bad light. They are told those kinds of responses also work well when confronted by someone using facts and statistics.. The use of the ‘that wasn’t really socialism’ in response to anyone bringing up Venezuela ...

A response to the attempt by the Left to sell socialistic slavery under the false pretense of environmentalism. This is in response to the challenge issued by nation’s favorite socialist and budding authoritarian to come up with something better than the insanity, mass death and misery of the so-called ‘Green New Deal’. Never mind that she cannot manage to follow her own dictates. They consider themselves to be better than we of the great unwashed, being morally correct and all, so why should they have to follow the rules? Our alternative is immensely superior to her ancient ideas with 400 years of failure. it’s called Economic Liberty. Simply stated, socialism is a fraudulent ideology that promises all manner of largess, but never delivers on its Utopian vision. In the case of the ‘GND’ the scheme includes hilariously insane ideas for ocean-wide train travel, rebuilding every structure in the country, getting rid of cow flatulence and free stuff funded by gold coins made ...

There is one big problem with trying to (get to) ‘net-zero’ greenhouse gases, it can never happen. Sometimes it is hard to shake the thought that a higher power played a practical joke on the Authoritarian Socialist-Left with history’s greatest prank. Those familiar with the subject know that the highest manifestation of this ‘art form’ is when the target plays it on themselves and from a source that no one expects. The coincidences leave one gobsmacked as to how it all could be mere happenstance. The Left’s inherent arrogance has led them to believe they can never be wrong. Even if the result is that they ‘rule the population’ in the end. The problem for them is that they can’t exactly cast themselves as the ‘the party of science’ when they forget about the most abundant greenhouse gas. Full disclosure, we had been very reluctant to critique the purveyor of this plan knowing that her ‘proclivities’ would be her downfall, knowing it would pay a handsome dividend. We knew that ever...

A semi-satirical look at what is essentially a toy in the celebration of liberty Now that Trump has completed the paperwork on the ‘meaningless gesture’ of the bump stock ban, many are begging off the need for these devices (along with fingers, rubber bands and belt loops). As Michael Corleone famously said,  “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.”  The original intent was to detail the egregious bump stock surrender by the Trump administration. Thankfully, Tammy Rucker detailed the issues of this step onto the slippery slope. For the sake of ‘balance’, we thought we would take a satirical look at the issue. This will be a bit of ‘resistance’ for the cause of Liberty with a soupçon of levity. 1. They are jolly good fun Let’s face it, blasting away at targets at the range can be quite boring (not really, but work with us here).  Who really wants to spend time firing off a few thousand rounds of ammunition on a lazy afternoon at the range? Th...

A Satirical look at how the Socialist-Left could try to purchase electoral support when there is no more money in the till and confiscatory taxation will ruin the economy. The Bronx: In a stunningly brilliant move of fiscal genius, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez propsed a plan to auction off the star of the solar system to fund her vote-buying agenda. “The easiest way to obtain the cash to purchase everyone’s vote would be to sell the Sun to the highest bidder on e-bay”. In her hastily assembled news conference, Ms. Cortez explained her plan to sell  that which provides most of the energy to the planet, not to mention the cause of Climate change.  Taxes are already too high, so her solution was to simply auction off that which provides most of the energy to the planet, not to mention the cause of Climate change. Ms. Cortez elaborated further “Let’s face it, when we say the rich should pay their fair share, that really means taking their property and using it to buy votes wit...